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Post by Bravefoot on Oct 8, 2014 15:24:18 GMT
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Post by Fallensnow on Oct 13, 2014 3:10:05 GMT
I really like it although there were many grammar mistakes. Remember to not start a sentance with, "And", and a sentance shouldn't have too many commas. There were many places where you put a comma where a period should have been. But enough of my stupid grammar talk XP. I'm a grammar nazi so don't let me annoy you. What I noticed unlike other warrior cat books is that Bravekit actually had a connection with his father. Many fathers in the warrior cat series and fanmade warrior cat book pretty much only visit the nursery a couple times but Bravekit actually had a loving fatheerrrrr >u<. It's cute. I also kind of found that whole, "friendship ", thing with Snowpaw interesting, I can't help but feel like their relationship was budding into something more. I kind of hoped there would be more cats his age so he could have shared his adventures with them and stuff as an apprentice. There always has to be that funny sidekick, I mean, pff look at Greystripe. He is the definition of sidekick. Okay I'm done speaking my thoughts. Can't wait for the second book!
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Post by Bravefoot on Oct 13, 2014 16:01:19 GMT
Thx! X3 And for my grammar mistakes, I'm italian, so English is not my best! But thanks for telling me, I will be extra careful in the second book!
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Post by Frostwing on Oct 14, 2014 0:35:11 GMT
If you want, maybe you can hire editors to make sure everything in the book is spelled correctly/has the right grammar/etc.
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Post by Bravefoot on Oct 14, 2014 15:06:56 GMT
Hmmm, yeah thats actually a good idea BUT that way you read the book before it is set to be released, and thats not fair on others X3
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Post by Frostwing on Oct 15, 2014 2:30:49 GMT
Hmm...then how about you get someone to read over your shoulder while you type, so that they can make sure everything is correct? That way, nobody else but your family/IRL friends will read the story before-hand.
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Post by Bravefoot on Oct 15, 2014 15:11:22 GMT
My sister is not better then me in English, and my mom doesnt even know that the language exists (XP). My italian friends are in the middle, they know less then me still...
Oh, well, as said above, I'll be more careful, grammar mistakes are ok, at least thats a good sign for being sure that a human wrote it and not a robot! XP
I mean, even the Erins did huge mistakes, so...yeah
X3
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Post by Fallensnow on Oct 16, 2014 22:20:15 GMT
My sister is not better then me in English, and my mom doesnt even know that the language exists (XP). My italian friends are in the middle, they know less then me still... Oh, well, as said above, I'll be more careful, grammar mistakes are ok, at least thats a good sign for being sure that a human wrote it and not a robot! XP I mean, even the Erins did huge mistakes, so...yeah X3 Not just grammar mistakes. They would end a warriors name with, "paw", or an apprentince with, "kit", and they have accidently called cats by the wrong name. In Bluestars Prophecy when Bluekit was in the nursery with Snowkit they called her Leopardkit. Not to mention how awful they are at remembering the designs of the cats. XD Dovepaw's eye color is described as green, blue, and yellow in different places. People have to come up with the designs themselves sometimes. The biggest arguement is on Scourges collar. Don't even get me started there. I don't blame you for the mistakes but NEVER turn into Erin Hunter and and give a cat 5 differint eyecolors. Mosskit is practically cross-gender, they change her from a she-cat to a tom so many times. (It's really funny to look up all the mistakes they have made.)
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Post by Bravefoot on Oct 17, 2014 15:33:00 GMT
I know! XD
In Bramblestar's Storm , Greystripe said that "I'm proud that my daughter became leader of Riverclan (Mistystar) ... and I miss Stormfur" The Erins did huge mistakes in here! X3
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